tressy

this name is known by those whom it means something to...before i discuss her i'l tell ya a lil about me n why im writing...first off i won't use spell check or a dictionary to make myself seem smart or clever..or arrogant..iv'e been there ..many times...i want you to feel me thru my writing so i'l try to spell my best n try to just talk to you....i read alot of books in the 9 yrs i was gone and so i can vision some words that i'l add to try n teach as i learn...when i say teach i just mean that iv'e been on many paths of life and i want to stress the importance of not giving any more life to a lifestyle that intoxicates millions of our youths everyday...me included...also my son...i hate what i loved. two weeks ago i had a tatto removed off my face and these wordz will also eliminate the life i gave what i once held so dear to my heart..i continue to pay for my choices everyday but all i can do is try to promote options for my son and those who would listen...the wages of sin are felt when i listen to my sons reasons for his love for that prior life i once glorified in front of him as an infant.. i was detrimental to his upbringing and now i am reminded of reaping the harvests we sew!! anyway i try to show my son that beyond the homiez n the familia and the drug money and relationships and cars and being somebody amongst a bunch of nobodies...beyond these liquid posessions is LIFE...i mean he watches me on my laptop wearing glasses and argyle sweaters and loafers and im comming home from my warehouse job and sometimes he smiles and it makes me wonder if it's laughing at me my clothes or if he's happy im not riding anymore..riding is the term gangsters use to describe themselves n their way of life.. being a rider means you will ride for your click your team your familia your money your drug spot or your name...hence my introduction,,convictions of a writer....my older brother wrote me in prision before i was released and he said my new motto should be {no more riding]...i was released about 8 yrs early because i began to evolve..i didn't change.. i hate that fuckn word...i evolved.....when i came home i had the best intentions of changing but about two hour out i was already checking my clicks drug spots and getting on deck with some work[crack] to ensure i could still be a somebody in the northside..aka the sreets i came up on...anyway back to tressy..my mom..i won't write her real name but this was her nickname and i'l refer to it often in these pages...she's been gone since i was thirteen and was in prison most of my life before that..in the early 80's when she got parole and her life ended part of mine ended as well.....thats when the hate began..when it all started for me..........to be continued...