YOUR FREE WITH ME!!

You have no idea how many people depend on you for a lifeline.....Many Many people know how lovely you are and therefore want 2 bid for your time...Hence the discomfort you feel when you can't make a date or event every time...Your friends are really your family too and they want your time as much as i do...as much as relatives do2..The people you grace well I'll just say were lucky...I'm the luckiest cuz ur mine...I have a huge chunk of your time and im thankful for that....since almost 20 years ago when i got in line for your time..well i hope u can see how much i could love only you...there's really always been you and i am with u everyday....

He Got Out!!

So a few times a year my son fly's back to his home town and spends time with his other side of the family....Im restless during these transitions...I don't sleep as good when my sons not in the room next to mine...I miss the little thud of bass i so often complain about when he's here but i miss it at these times..Here come the trials..The tests...The parties and the 17 year old adolescent drinking...My son..well i almost said he;s no angel but trust me he's angelic i promise you...his smiles infectious if you saw it your concur...Anyways when my boy goes home it's nerve racking...The other side of his family is caught up in that life still ya know???along with that comes old friendships ..like my sons best friend and recent catcher of a bullet with his name on it...Look like mickey i don't want to get biblical in a place like this but hear my reasons...My son went to his best friends and son of one of my old gangster pals kid 18th birthday last Saturday night ...When i put him on a plane Saturday morning i told him how much i loved him first then said ..here comes the bullshit..I said ...Son...If there's a situation jumping off and your headed there get out of it however you have to...So here i am Weds day a week later...His mom called me and said my son (a high school senior)..Well he called at 2am Sunday morning and said he didn't know exactly where he was cuz he had been in a car with friends but asked them to let him out when he'd had enough..Was he drinking??Yes certainly..he's 17 and fueled by hormones and x-box..just kidding bout the x-box!!Okay then i just wanted to share about how my son got out of the car before continuing to go on down a wrong path..Where d ya think he learned him that folks??I feel like a bad parent when writing about my sons high school night of drinking...But hey he got out of the car and called someone to come get him...Everyday is like Sunday!!

Tired Violence!!

Im not even sure what that title means yet...Tired of it though most certain!!I was a little more LIVID this morning about my belief in all i see but then i write some..When i write things i teach myself some lessons..I just get tired you know??It's October so i guess its my release day!!This month was supposed to be a celebration but instead it's my nightmare....It's my mothers month and every year it takes another piece...She been gone since 86 so you'd think id have armor...I don't man...i am brittle..I always tell myself ever year u wont feel it...but i do...i can't help it ...i cant let go yet... I mean part of me let sum go when i poured out my heart to my best friend on PCH coming back from la bra...but im still shell shocked...Trisena was taken from me in 1986 and October still remains hollow...but it's better now then before i guess..I sat at my desk today thinking and stressn about my stress and my heart was crying.....It's not about you Tommy ray today's her day...It is to...It's my MOMS day every year this time...Recently i heard everything i love will die...I don't believe em though...My mother will never be fully gone....My son knows her well even though he's never met her... my wife and brother know her too al though only my brother remembers her...She was lovely i cant tell you..i am thankful i was given some years with her to carry her spirit..My brother frowns on religion but i play the odds ...lol...Ok so im mostly done here but before i go just let me say this...My mother Trisena....Something good came from my mom...her Sons and daughter n laws and grandchildren are out here really doing it..making a difference...Shhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiitt man my nieces and nephews are close to buddah...my wife's taught Kids to learn without test scores....My sister in law manages a dept and a two year old James kid...You feel me??Yep my mothers family is here tonight....I made it through the day ma and your birthday is the night before we are bewitched....I will be in full costume you already know...Alright then October 30th..kit's a date..I will bring another bottle..I love you mom!!!