FLASH THEORY

FLASHES....I SEE THEM ALOT!!! I OFTEN WONDER IF EVERYONE SEES THEM BECAUSE ITS PRETTY COMMON IF MY INFO IS RIGHT..AS FOR ME THOUGH THE FLASHES I SEE ARE MOSTLY OF BAD TIMES...I WONDER WHY?? I CAN'T TRULY SAY IF I SEE GOOD FLASHES??I REALLY CAN'T SAY THAT!!I SEEM TO DAYDREAM GOOD SCENES IN MY LIFE BUT FLASHES ARE DIFFERENT..I HAVE SPOKEN OF THEM TO TWO PEOPLE...I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THESE FLASHES I WITNESS..I'L BE OUT SOMEWHERE OR JUST AT HOME AND THE FLASHES ARISE..I WILL EXPLAIN WHAT IM TRYING TO DESCRIBE IN WORDS SO IL TRY IN ANOTHER WAY..IL TELL YA ABOUT A FEW OF THESE REA CURING FLASHES...THE REASON THEY ARE SOMETHING WORTHY OF A BLOG IS BECAUSE MY FLASHES HAVE VOLUME...I CAN HEAR CERTAIN THINGS...BUT MOSTLY BAD OR DANGEROUS THINGS!!!I WILL TAKE FOR INSTANCE I'L SEE A TIME WEN I LAYED A GUN DOWN ON THE COUNTER AND I CAN HEAR THE METALS WEIGHT!!!I MEAN I CAN HEAR THAT ITS HEAVY...THE FLASHES ARE MOSTLY A BLUR BUT THE SOUND IS CLEAR..IF YOU HAVE READ MY BLOG THEN YOU KNOW I USED TO WALK BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE!! MY ACTIONS WEREN'T LOVELY BUT I TRIED TO KEEP A LOVELY HEART...WHAT IM SAYING IS I FANCIED MYSELF AN OUTLAW!!I WAS AN OUTLAW BACK THEN FOR CERTAIN SO NOW I SEE FLASHES..WHEN I STARTED TO WRITE AND TALK ABOUT THIS JUST NOW IT SEEMED SO MUCH MORE EXCITING...LIFES FUNNY THAT WAY...YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT??WE EXPECT ALOT SOMETIMES..ANYWAYS I WAS JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY FLASHES THATS ALL...I WILL HAVE A FLASH N THEN IT WILL ALTER MY DAY,MY MOOD ECT!!!WHEN I WAS IN PRISON AFTER ABOUT THE 5TH OR 6TH YEAR I STORED SOME FLASHES THAT I WISH I COULD JUST WIPE AWAY...IM ENVIOUS OF COMPUTERS THAT WAY...COMPUTERS GOT IT EASY..THEY JUST GET THEIR HARDRIVE WIPED AND THEIR NEW AGAIN...SOUNDS LIKE BLISS YA???IM SITTING HERE THINKING OF WHAT TO SAY NEXT AND FLASHES RACED BY...I SEEN MY BOY MIKEY..WELL I SAW HIS FACE I MEAN..HE WOULD SMILE EVERYNITE WHEN ID GET HOME FROM MY JOB AT THE DAIRY...THE PRISON I WAS AT BACK THEN HAD A DAIRY AND I WORKED THERE FOR ABOUT A YEAR OR SO...I WORKED AS A HEAT OBSERVER AND I DELIVERED CALVES FED THEM BY BOTTLE AND EVETUALLY RAN THE CAFBARN AND ABSORBED EVERYTHING I COULD..EVERYTHING FROM BREAKING DOWN A CALF PEN FULL OF OLD HAY AND LYE AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE??SHIT YES LOTS OF IT...COWS KINDA DISGUSTING..BUT HEY...THEIR COWS!!!SO YEAH I EVENTUALLY BECAME A HEAT OBSERVER AND LEARNED THE ARTIFICAL WAYS THEY IMPREGNATE COWS..ITS A HUGE BUISNESS..OUR DAIRY MADE 6 MILLION A QUARTER....JUST ON MILK...SO ANYWAY ID COME HOME AT LIKE ONE OR TWO IN THE MORNING FROM THE DAIRY AND MIKE WOULD BE THERE WAITING WITH NACOS OR WHATEVER WE WERE COOKING THAT NIGHT..SOMTIMES THE DAIRY GUYS BROUGHT ME FOOD FROM THE STREET..PLUS THE PRISON CAMP GREW JALEPENOS SO WE HAD BURRITOS OR NACHOS ALOT..SO ANYHOW MIKE WOULD HAVE BOTH OUR TV'S ON AND BOTH OUR LITTLE RADIOS BLARING SOME TOP TEN HORRIBLE RAP SHIT BUT HEY HE WAS 17...HE WAS SENT TO ADULT PRISON BECAUSE HE GOT IN TROUBLE IN YOUTH PRISON FOR GANG ACTIVITY...YA HE HAD ANOTHER SIDE OF HIMSELF TOO..ANYHOW HE'D BE UP MAKING IT AN EVENT WHEN I CAME HOME AND I HAVE FLASHES ABOUT IT..WE WOULD SMOKE N JOKE AND PLAY CARDS OR DOMINOS AND LISTEN TO MUSIC TIL 6AM..I REMEBER ONCE WE HAD SMUGGLED SOME WEED IN THRU THE DAIRY AND WE SAT THEIR AT 3 AM WITH OUR MUSIC VIBRATING OUR LITTLE CELL AND MIKEY LOOKED OVER AT ME AND SAID..WE AINT IN PRISON HOMIE!! I LOOKED BACK AND SAID YA I FEEL YA...HE HAD ONLY TWO YEARS ON A SMALL 5 YR SENTENCE SO I KNEW HE'D BE LEAVING SOON..I USED TO GET MAD AT MYSELF FOR CARING ABOUT HOW HURT ID BE WHEN HE LEFT FOR HOME AT LEAST 3 YEARS BEFORE ME...AND HE DID...THREE MONTHS AFTER THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A CATHOLIC ULOGY FROM MIKES FUNERAL EARLIER THAT WEEK...THE WEEK BEFORE HE DIED HE SENT ME A LETTER AND SAID HE COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE ME IN THE NORTHSIDE AND ALL THE FUN IT WAS GONNA BE..I REMEMBER THE END OF THAT LETTER HE SAID HE WAS DOING GOOD BUT HE COULD FEEL HIMSELF SLIPPING MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY!! WHEN THE POLICE ARRIVED AT HIS MURDER SCENE THEY FOUND A NINETEEN YEAR OLD LAYING ON HIS SIDE WITH TWO BULLETS IN HIS HEAD AND THREE FEET AWAY WAS A HANDGUN!!!THE PEOPLE THAT KILLED HIM TRIED TO MAKE THE THING LOOK LIKE SUICIDE BUT THEY WEREN'T ALL THAT SMART..TWO BULLETS!!!TWO BULLETS TWO BULLETS..SUICIDE AND UR DONE ON THE FIRST BULLET...ANYWAY IT CAME OUT HE WAS MURDERED OVER THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD STRUGGLE THING I GUESS..DRUGS GUNS GANG AFFILIATION WHATEVER...HIS GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME THE STORY OF HIS DEATH AND SHE DESCRIBED PULLING UP TO THE SCENE AND HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN!!!I UNDERSTOOD...NIGHTMARES FLASHES..I FEEL THEY ARE KINDA THE SAME..MY FLASHES ARE LIKE NIGHTMARES ONLY WHEN IM AWAKE..ALOT OF THIS WRITING MAT SEEM DARK OR JUST ABOUT THE BAD TIMES BUT IM TRYING TO JUST SEE THE GLASS AS HALF FULL AND CALL MY FLASHES A WARNING TO MYSELF..LIKE A REMINDER...I THINK THEY STICK WITH ME TO REMIND ME OF HOW I GOT HERE AND MAYBE THEY ARE ALSO MY CROSS..LIKE KARMA OR SUMTHN??? IM NOT CERTAIN BUT LAST WEEK I WAS AT A RESTAURANT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE N A COUPLE OF PALS AND I SAW MY MOST REOCCURRING FLASH..ITS THE GUN BEING LAYED DOWN ON ITS SIDE ON A FLOOR OR COUNTER TOP AND HEARING THE WEIGHT OF IT...IT SOUNDS SO HEAVY!!!